Breaking Free from Relationship Abuse: 2013

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Suicide Awareness and Prevention

This post is about warning signs and ways we as family, friends and loved ones of those with mental or behavioral challenges- can assist them in their struggles.

I encourage you whether you are a member of my faith or not, to listen and watch this Speech given by Elder Holland- regarding how to treat others in this sad predicament and situation.

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng#watch=video

Warning Signs of Suicide Behavior

May draw or write about death
Or talk about ways they have thought about harming themselves
Cutting arms or legs
Withdrawing from friends & families
Marked personality or Severe Mood Changes
Loss of interest in talents and activities they used to love
Insomnia
Or wanting to sleep all the time
May give away prized possessions
Lose hope
Losing interest in school
Indifferent towards most activities
Children may become severely impulsive
And Instant Gratification

Have children set goals for wants and needs
Point out our children's strengths
Do not hound about what they are doing wrong- or may need to improve.
Point out that there are solutions to their problems
Let your child think of their own solutions to severe or little problems.

Find out why our children are unhappy
Question our children " Are you feeling that you may want to hurt yourself?"
Ask hard questions
Ask open-ended questions
Listen to your child's teachers

If your children are having those thoughts, it is not a reflection of poor parenting.
If they have depression- it's not your fault.
Don't try to fix their depression by yourself, seek professional help.
"No one can responsibly suggest that just square your shoulders and think more positively." Elder Holland
It's not that easy. It's a big deal.

If you are concerned about your child's safety- never leave them alone.
Get rid of guns or knives, pills and ways they may harm themselves.
Be there for them. Listen to your loved ones.

Focus attention on your children.

Listen and empathize with your children.
Especially when they tell you why they hurt, are sad. Or feel a certain way.
Show an increase in love.

"Trust in God and his love. Be merciful, non-judge mental and kind- towards those suffering with mental illness." -Elder Holland

Saturday, October 5, 2013

A Leader Who Understands the Pain of Depression and Hopelessness

What is Depression?

http://www.apa.org/topics/depress/

As a person who has suffered and continues to suffer from Depression and Anxiety in my life, to dire points of deep despair and hopelessness- in my young life and my younger adult life; I am thankful for Elder Jeffrey R. Holland and his words to those with any mental or emotional struggles and hardships in their lives.

Whether you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or not, I believe and hope his words and love for you and all of God's Children resonate with you.

You are unique and important, there is always hope- do not give up!

Please read or listen to his talk and see the compassion and love this good brother has for you.
Know you have friends and family who love you regardless of your circumstances in your life.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865587762/Elder-Jeffrey-R-Holland-Like-a-Broken-Vessel.html

I missed Sister Stephen's Talk so I will read it and post it here.
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865587744/Sister-Carole-M-Stephens-Do-we-know-what-we-have.html

If you are interested in listening to the messages of our leaders here are some resources for you;

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch?lang=eng

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765638753/183rd-Semiannual-General-Conference-talk-summaries.html

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Warning Signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

If you are involved in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, or have a family relationship with someone who is narcissistic- chances are you probably are aware of it.
Although, many grandiose and charming people are narcissistic, most of them have a front, or "mask" they initially create at the beginning of a relationship to swoon you into being intimate and committed to them.

Very often this kind of person has an inflated ego, and they are the most important person in the world. It seems they love hearing themselves speak. Very little do they let others speak, unless they feel they are special, or superior to others- like they feel about themselves. They can be extremely controlling and rude. Narcissists are not known to be tactful people. Do not underestimate their craftiness though.
They are often silver-tongued romanticists, with rose-colored glasses and tunnel vision. The world works the way they see it, and not in any other way.
They often move relationships along very quickly, and may give many gifts and pamper you with attention and recognition at first.
In business, the narcissist is a stickler with negotiations.
They do not negotiate, they wait until you get pushed into what they wanted in the first place.

What is a narcissist? What kind of traits and warning signs should you look for in a partner?

"How to Spot A Narcissist"

From Abundance Tapestry;

(http://www.abundancetapestry.com/how-to-spot-10-warning-signs-of-narcissism-in-your-partner/)

"You really want to be lookout on the following narcissistic traits: vain, egoistical and selfish.

Here are 10 warning signs on what the above description translates to:

1. His needs come first. You have to plan your life around his.

2. He takes more than he gives. You now realize that his show of attention on you at one stage was pretense. The honeymoon period did not last very long.

3. He talks about himself all the time. You can barely get a word in about your needs, concerns and ideas.

4. He can be manipulative, abusive and controlling. Your voice is reduced to a whimper around him.

5. He belittles you constantly. Your sense of self-worth has been shredded to pieces repeatedly.

6. He has lack of empathy for others. He is insensitive towards the feelings of his loved ones, including yours.

7. He strives to ensure that his stories of accomplishment are forever etched in your mind. You have heard the same overblown stories that happened years ago, multiple times.

8. He is always in the right. It is as if he can do no or little wrong. Even when he has a part to play, he will make it seem as if you are to blame. He is a world-class wordsmith.

9. He has trouble committing to a relationship. You have to give in to his demands for space; but you have to be on his beck and call.

10. His negative reactions are often excessive in relation to the issue. You are taken aback by his rage and punishing ways towards you."

Mayo Clinic Warning Signs

(http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/narcissistic-personality-disorder/DS00652/DSECTION=symptoms)

"Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include: